Silsden Cam Bookmark and Share

<< HOME PAGE  < RETURN

Donate to Yorkshire Air Ambulanceback to General Forum | back to forum index | login | sign up | help | latest topics | search


Forums Home > General Forum > hillbilly and his collection of redneck jokes (keep um clean).

  

Replies in this thread : 21

Author

Topic : hillbilly and his collection of redneck jokes (keep um clean).

midway
Website Member
Posts : 1559

Website Member

12/07/2014 : 18:44:49      reply with quote


You might be a redneck if you've been married 3 times and you still have the same in laws
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

12/07/2014 : 19:31:12      reply with quote


Hello midway it is not so easy been a redneck mate and especialy when it is just coming up to tea time in the hills, It was our lads turn to use the false teeth today and he has not landed back with them yet, I have just cooked a nice chicken curry but if he is not back with the teeth soon i will be having problems again with the chewing but us rednecks are quite adaptable and i think we have a blender somewhere up here (Life is good)
click for more information

midway
Website Member
Posts : 1559

Website Member

12/07/2014 : 21:05:43      reply with quote


Crimes among the hillbilly communities are difficult to solve because they all have the same DNA, and no dental records.
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

12/07/2014 : 21:40:12      reply with quote


My girlfriend and i once broke up she said to me but we could still be cousins though (Life is good)
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

12/07/2014 : 21:58:59      reply with quote


Road kill - keeping rednecks well fed since the invention of the car, By the way pop up for a spot of lunch with us tomorrow midway you are welcome anytime
(life is good)
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

13/07/2014 : 00:11:42      reply with quote


this post has been edited 8 time(s)

THE OFFICIAL YEAR 2014 REDNECK CENCUS FORM
Last Name----------- First Name Tick Appropriate Box ( ) Billy Boy ( ) Billy Joe ( ) Billy Sue ( ) Billy Mae ( ) Billy Jack
What Does Everyone Call You ? ( ) Booger ( ) Bubba ( ) Junior ( ) sissy ( ) Other
Age -- (If Unsure Guess)--- Sex -- M -- F -- Not Sure
Shoe Size -- left -- Right
Ocupation (Tick Appropriate Box ( ) Farmer ( ) Mechanic ( )Preacher ( )unemployed
( ) Dirty Politician
Spouses Name ------------- 2nd Spouses Name ------------ 3rd Spouses Name --------- Lover's Name --------------
Number Of Children Living In The Home --- Number Of Children Living In The shed ---- Number Of Children That Are Yours ----
Education 1234 Circle Highest Grade Completed
(Tick Apropriate Box) Number Of Vehicles You Still Crank --- Number Of Vehicles in Back Yard --- Nunber OF Vehicles On Cement Blocks ---
Model And Year Of Pickup ------ 196- Do You Have A Gun Rack? Yes( ) No ( ) If No Please
Explain-------------------------------------------
Number Of Times You Have Seen A UFO --- Number Of Times You Have Seen Elvis in The Last 5 Years --- Number Of Times You Have Seen Elvis In A UFO ---
How Often Do You Bath'e ( )Weekley ( ) Monthly ( ) Not Applicable
Colour Of Eyes Left ------ Right ------
Colour of Hair ( ) Blond ( ) Black ( ) Red ( ) Brown ( )White ( ) Clairol ( )
Colour of Teeth ( )White ( )Yellow ( )Brownish Yellow ( ) Black N/A ( )
Brand Of Chewing Tobacco ( ) Red Man
How Far Is Your Home From a made Up Road 1 Mile( ) 2 Miles ( ) 2 To 5 Miles ( )Over 5 Miles ( ) Over 10 miles ( )
Signiture ---------------- Or Just Mark with an x Date -- -- 2014
click for more information

midway
Website Member
Posts : 1559

Website Member

13/07/2014 : 10:41:03      reply with quote


Thank you hillbilly for the invite ,i,am going to bring a bottle but i don't know is the meat white or red, table manners are important in the mountains ,and i would not like to offend,so i am going to push the boat out and bring a Bigga bottle of ketchup so we can share with one and all. PS could you please ask aunty Sue to wear her vest because i've trouble telling you two apart.
click for more information

dogcatcher
Website Member
Posts : 3739

Website Member

13/07/2014 : 12:09:05      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

hell brings the film DELIVERANCE to mindlaugh :Dlaugh :D hope you cant play the banjo!!!
click for more information

midway
Website Member
Posts : 1559

Website Member

13/07/2014 : 12:40:29      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

Makes you think, the original red necks came from the Scottish Highlands.but please keep it to yourself. Dueling banjos , thats my favorite tune.
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

13/07/2014 : 12:48:01      reply with quote


What do you call 32 hillbillies standing in a line ?
A full set of teeth
click for more information

dogcatcher
Website Member
Posts : 3739

Website Member

13/07/2014 : 14:28:38      reply with quote


what do u call a redneck with a sheep under each arm,,,,, a pimplaugh :Dlaugh :D
click for more information

midway
Website Member
Posts : 1559

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 13:00:07      reply with quote


Top man hillbilly, sold his water bottle and has given the proceeds to air ambulance, i always said he was a gooden,so will you lot stop picking on him.
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 15:27:26      reply with quote


Thee too can be a gooden midway get thee hand in thee pocket fot Yorkshire air ambulance thee may need it one day and it is a bit sad to see that not many donations have been received of late
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 16:13:57      reply with quote


Just made another donation to the Yorkshire air ambulance midway just to prove that it realy is painless it only takes a minute to do and that minute will save lives lets all just think about making a small donation and saveing a few more lives lets boost that very small total and show we do have big hearts in Silsden (Life is good)
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 16:30:50      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

For every ten donations recived for the Yorkshir air ambulance today on silsden.net before midnight hillbilly will make another donation to the Yorkshire air ambulance even if it is only a 1 donation you send (Life is good)
click for more information

midway
Website Member
Posts : 1559

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 17:29:07      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

Hang on a bit hillbilly,does mother Bubba know what you are doing,she hasn't won that arm wrestling competition yet,it's only two days since the pot came of.sorry that's off.
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 18:47:55      reply with quote


It would be nice to see some donations to the Yorkshire air ambulance coming in as fast as all the moaning and groaning does on here lol
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 19:46:19      reply with quote


i don't think it would even make any difference if Bob Geldof came to Silsden and said just give us all your ------- money like he said on live aid, not even a 1 donated for the yorkshire air ambulance (what a sad lot) hillbilly is going to make another donation even if you lot don't i dont care if i have to live off road kill for the next month
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 20:24:23      reply with quote


We have life in Silsden, THANK YOU to Joe Blogs for his donation to the Yorkshir air ambulance and for having the heart not to have hillbilly living off road kill for the next month three cheers for Joe blogs
click for more information

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

16/07/2014 : 20:49:24      reply with quote


Thank you for the anonymous donation Mr or Mrs anonimous only another eight donations and hillbilly will have to pay again (come on make him squeal)
click for more information

midway
Website Member
Posts : 1559

Website Member

17/07/2014 : 15:36:17      reply with quote


looks like Mother bubba won the arm wrestling, she's bung a 50 into the pot ( stand by your man ).
solid wood flooring

hillbilly
Website Member
Posts : 1099

Website Member

23/07/2014 : 18:56:12      reply with quote


Ho dear mother Bubba is not standing by her man now after the cranberry and black cherry mix up and tells me Dogcatcher was her favourite coal man years ago so it looks like i am well in the doghouse with her (Life is not good)
click for more information

Replies in this thread : 21

Post Reply

login

refresh page   

latest topics

events
sale / wanted
general
have your say
looking for..
skippy greengrass

DON'T FORGET THE SUBJECT IS >>>>>>>>   Forums Home > General Forum > hillbilly and his collection of redneck jokes (keep um clean).  


<< HOME PAGE  RETURN  PAGE TOP ^  

  , © silsden.net 2016

webenquiries to