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Replies in this thread : 17

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Topic : Home Bargains Keighley

Jaguarxjs22
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Posts : 103

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30/07/2016 : 17:30:40      reply with quote


I called in at home bargains today and asked one of the staff where to find the white dog chews...she replied hide ! I said why what's going on.
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GAMEKEEPER
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01/08/2016 : 10:46:28      reply with quote


Nice one. Lol.
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ginjo
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01/08/2016 : 11:07:39      reply with quote


sorry, don't get it??
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HurricaneHector
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01/08/2016 : 17:47:23      reply with quote


That's nowt, I went into boots and asked for a deodorant, the assistant said, "Ball type?) I answered I was looking for under arm; but I suppose it will do!
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Jaguarxjs22
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05/08/2016 : 19:02:20      reply with quote


I went into Boots today too, I said I need a comb, she said do you want a steel one, I said no I don't mind paying for it!
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cars
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06/08/2016 : 02:47:13      reply with quote


when I went in the co-op yesterday I asked for some cream, do you want whipping ? said the assistant !
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tetleydrinker
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06/08/2016 : 09:31:48      reply with quote


I went into B & Q last week to enquire about building a wooden stage in my garden, the assistant said "you want decking" Luckily I got the first punch in.
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GAMEKEEPER
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06/08/2016 : 10:23:34      reply with quote


Haha. Keep them coming. lol.
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pgp001
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06/08/2016 : 10:24:31      reply with quote


I phoned one of our suppliers about some conveyor rollers.
He asked me if I wanted shafting.
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Jaguarxjs22
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06/08/2016 : 20:45:20      reply with quote


I called at the butchers today, he said I bet you 5 you can't reach them pieces of meat on the top shelf,I nearly took him up on it but the steaks were too high !
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gazzer
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07/08/2016 : 00:38:07      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.


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gazzer
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07/08/2016 : 00:39:00      reply with quote


I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

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gazzer
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07/08/2016 : 00:41:07      reply with quote


"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"


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gazzer
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07/08/2016 : 00:43:05      reply with quote


this post has been edited 1 time(s)

A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!

A big thanks to Tim Vine/Tommy Cooper for the one liners
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Jaguarxjs22
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07/08/2016 : 21:16:47      reply with quote


I went to buy some shoes today in Skipton, they felt well tight round the sides, the assistant said try them with the tongue out, so I stuck my tongue out and they were still a bit tight..
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tetleydrinker
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07/08/2016 : 22:59:57      reply with quote


I went into H Samuels on Saturday and asked for a wind up watch, the assistant said analogue, and I said no just a watch please.................
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Jaguarxjs22
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09/08/2016 : 11:33:18      reply with quote


I was havin a pint in the Robin yesterday when Shakespeare walked in, the landlord said I'm not serving you ya Bard !
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Jaguarxjs22
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04/09/2016 : 17:05:08      reply with quote


I rang the tailors in Keighley yesterday and said I need measuring for a suit as I have a big psychic evening coming up. He said Oh are you a medium?. I said I don't know, that's why I need you to measure me.
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Replies in this thread : 17

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